over and out.

So long.

We are on our way to Michigan for the next nine days. Granny, Great-Granny and Uncle Terry are terribly excited to see Rowen and Finley, and our visiting is long overdue.

I have been avoiding thinking about the trip, possibly to postpone the traveling anxiety that will for certain be taking over before too long.

For a month now, I have been mentally packing up our stuff, certain that "I'm packing light." Those of you who know me, I am not a light packer... especially for myself and two kiddos under the age of three. I can leave for a weekend and pack enough stuff to survive in the Amazon for a month (seriously... you think I'm kidding... but I'm not...). Most of the time, when funny things happen along the way, I am thankful that I packed 'too much.' Those extra items have not only come in handy, but have been genuinely necessary. Think extra pajamas after diaper blowouts during a bluegrass festival, extra shoes after an unfortunate "too much smoothie in my stomach to keep it all down" incident, four thousand different kinds of snack foods when no one will eat anything that they had previously loved to eat the week before...

So lately, I have been certain that my Aces in the Holes are Rowen's iPod to entertain him on both flights and a DVD player for Finley if she becomes an inconsolable mess. We have three seats among us and both planes are small this time around, so Rowen will be sitting across the aisle from me. We have been going over the day's itinerary, so Rowen knows what to expect -- like sitting across an aisle from me, only being able to watch his iPod when the pilot says it is okay, and turning it off when he says we have to.

Rowen seems like he understands, but makes sure that I am aware that he "will only cry one little tiny tear when he has to turn his videos off."

Finley on the other hand is my wild card. I am hoping that for our long flight from Denver to Traverse City she will just nurse and go to sleep.

So here's where my problem seems to be happening. I am convinced that I will pack our carry-on light, seeing as how all I need to do is focus on the electronics and snacks. However, as I began packing up Friday afternoon I couldn't help but think, "Where the hell is all of this room that I am supposed to have?!" I have less diapers than I needed on previous trips, shouldn't that save me room? I am only packing some goodie bag toys that I think will be great for take-off and landings and any other time in between. I have two mouths to feed with snacks now, and those mouths are awfully hungry lately, but didn't I learn about the necessities during all of our last trips? And what about those three little books and that sticker books that I just have to bring? They aren't heavy or bulky... they were planned to be just perfect! The DVD player, an extra set of earphones and the multitude of DVDs that I have decided to pack along are the only extra thing that I am bringing this time around. Oh yea, don't forget Finley's blanket and the extra clothing... just in case. I haven't even grabbed an extra shirt for me yet.

Shouldn't I have a vast amount of room left over? Shouldn't I at least have enough room to securely bring my phone, wallet and camera along? Those are on the dining room table, looking quite forlorn.

So I decided that I needed to ignore that little project for while and quietly fold some clothes this afternoon while trying to sort out how many pairs of underwear should I bring for Rowen and how many PJ's do they each need. It'll be hot, but I know better than to assume that no one needs a jacket or long pants. Two swim suits each? Or three?

Oh yeah... hats! Don't forget the hats! And those cute dresses of Finley's that I want her great-grandmother to see her in. And socks! Should I just assume that Rowen won't need any other shoes but his Teva sandals and maybe his Crocs? Should I leave the socks at home? Or just bring along one little pair?

But they might get lonely...

bit of a blogging gap, here.

You will be seeing a bit less of me around here than I would like for a little bit. I am sure that most of you are already aware of me being a bit of a no-show. We are right at the edge of our Internet usage cap for the month (no thanks to you, Verizon!) and I am trying really, really hard to not go over before the 17th...

THEN... we are packing up and I am schlepping Rowen and Finley through airports and airplanes BY MYSELF to go on a bit of a Michigan vacation. There will be lots to post when we return, but until our broadband usage gets reset, I can't chance too many posts, especially with pictures.

happy anniversary!

Wow... can you belive that it's been almost twelve years since we began dating and today marks our fourth year off marriage! Crazy!

Happy anniversary, honey! I love you just as much today as I did all those many years ago. It amazes me to think of the path that we have made together as well as everything that we have done (and faced) side by side. You are remarkable... and I am so lucky.

nothing says memorial day like making s'mores on the back of the truck.

lovin' life with Lucy.

this is what happens when...

... you have spent the last week plus some cooped up in the house with snotty noses, crusty eyes, and whiny kiddos and then finally drag them to the doctor's office only to discover that they both have nasty ear infections and high fevers and one has pink eye, not to mention some yucky goop on her tonsils. From the doctor's office you go pick up antibiotics to begin drugging them as quickly as you can, all while planning on a nice, quiet, responsible weekend in complete recovery mode.

So, then, because of all of the above -- for some reason unknown to any rational person -- you load everyone up in the truck after nap time...

... and drive 8 long hours to Kansas...

... yes...

... Kansas...

... and see magical and inspiring places like this...

... and this...

... to finally arrive in stunning Garden City, Kansas, at 3am to quickly find a hotel to sleep for as long as possible (which turned out to be 7:30am -- thanks, Finley!)...

... for this...

Introducing Lucy.

Born April 20, 2009.
AKC Mastiff.

She is adjusting wonderfully and the kiddos love her. Actually, right now, everyone is napping and I am enjoying this luxury that I will no longer have to myself each day. Our biggest issue seems to be telling the difference between her puppy toys and Rowen and Finley's toys. However, perhaps this will be good encouragement to keep their toys picked up! She also has a thing for shoes and has already claimed one of Greg's socks as her own.

I know, I know... we're crazy.

the last dance.

*sniff* I'm so proud...

Today brings us the conclusion of The Dance Recital. We began with this and followed it up with this. Tonight was the final show and we had our fingers crossed that it would run smoothly.

Finley was terribly sick and after wavering back and forth about dragging her into town so Greg could catch Rowen's part of the show, we decided that she didn't need the added stress... not to mention the crowds of people in a hot, stuffy auditorium that didn't need her version of swine flu.

Rowen and I took off a bit early to head into town, to make sure that I could reserve a seat up close since I didn't have a squirmy baby in tow. I also was one of two parents scheduled to watch the kiddos before they headed onto stage and I wanted to get there early with our snacks to pass out.

When we got backstage, I joined in a conversation with another parent as well as the dance instructor and discovered that someone had complained about the boys at the previous night's show. Well... not Rowen, but the two boys involved in the head-on collision. They felt that they were disruptive and took away from the seriousness of the show. (I know, I know... it's amazing how rude two-year old boys can be!) I guess they expected the American Ballet Association rendition of The Nutcracker, but instead they were treated to two- and three-year old friends dancing up on a stage for the very first time (well... second...). I was more than shocked, but checked my emotions once I made certain that Rowen had no part in the complaint.

It was later that I questioned the mom that originally had brought it up to me and discovered that it was an actual parent of one of the little girl's in the class! I was floored! I have decided that I'm going to keep my commentary of the situation to myself for the time being, especially since I feel like this particular parent looks down on some of us other mommies. I am still amazed that she took it upon herself to talk to the dance director as well as our teacher to complain about the total lack of discipline. I guess that she was upset that the two boys took the attention from her daughter and made it hard for her daughter to concentrate... sheesh...

Anyway, I was so proud of every single kiddo out there on the stage, especially tonight. They used an adult as a spotter at times to help refocus the little ones that were getting off track (which was needed for Rowen first!) as well as specific star stickers on the floor to help keep them planted in the right spots. Those two tricks worked wonders. I must say that this year was the first time that the two-year old classes actually DANCED during the recital. Usually, they just came out on stage, bowed, looked cute and left... so... I think they did remarkable!

After their performance, I decided that Rowen didn't need to stick it out for the next 2 1/2 hours just to walk out for the finale (he made it to the end the night before... just barely... and only three other kids in his class joined him). So instead, I took him out for ice cream at The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory with Addie and Cora to celebrate their total awesomeness!

We gorged ourselves on ice cream while Greg was up to his elbows in snot.

THE END.

recital. day one.

Addie: Oh Rowen, don't you just love dancing?!

Rowen: Oh... not so much.

Overheard while they were sitting in the audience after their performance.

If you're following our little sage of Rowen's first big-time dance recital, you will already be well aware of the disaster that struck the night before at the rehearsal. After a bit of soul-searching on my part, lots and lots of bribes on my part, some encouragement a few threats (also on my part), we decided to let him participate in the actual recital. I spent the whole day reminding him of the importance of

Staying. Off. Of. The. Floor.

Listening. To. Leia.

Not. Touching. The. Curtains.

Standing. In. A. Line.

Showing. Everyone. What. A. Big. Boy. He. Is.

I also spent much more of the day reminding him that I had suckers and fruit snacks packed in my bag, and most importantly three quarters that were all his if he would just get through the dance routine without causing any commotion.

Yeah. I'm down with the bribes like that.

He also was ready to give answers to such questions as, "What is going to happen if you don't pay attention to Leia?" I'll get in big trouble. No cartoons. A timeout and go to bed.

We spent some extra time prepping everyone right before the big moment.

And so... ladies and gentlemen... here is the first of the two weekend recitals...

(pardon the intense shaking in the video... I was a bit nervous as to what might happen up there on stage!)

Okay, so it wasn't perfect. But at least he wasn't involved in the head-on collision in the beginning of the music (phew!). He couldn't help but dance around in his own little world and found himself on the floor... but I was pretty proud of my little boy!

I think he was quite proud of himself, too!

On our way home, we watched the very full moon rise up over the hill. Everyone was excited to continue watching it from the front door once we made it to the house.

UP NEXT: Day two. The last dance.

Will Rowen prove what a big boy he is?

disaster waiting to happen.

Rowen's dance rehearsal was today, in preparation for the big weekend-long dance recital. It. was. a. disaster.

You wouldn't think that one little three-year old could be so naughty up on a big stage with no mommy around to keep him in line... well... I guess... okay... yeah... maybe you can...

I had wonderful thoughts in my mind -- images of Rowen being star... doing all of the dance moves just perfectly... people coming up to me and congratulating me on what a wonderful little boy I have...

Yeah, well... not so much. I was slammed back into reality when all he wanted to do was run around in circles, lay on the floor and crash into the stage curtain, certainly looking for more areas to ransack.

I stood there, holding a squirming Finley, pointing our camera at the stage, not sure if what I was really seeing there through the screen was really happening. "He'll snap into it. He'll focus. He's not really going to walk down the stairs... is he?"

After the show ended, that was only the beginning of Fun With Rowen. After they shooed all of the other kiddos off-stage, Rowen was still up there, running and jumping. Two -- yes, two -- teachers finally realized that he was not part of the group they ushered off and they started chasing him around, trying to catch him. Chasing him. Trying to catch him. Catch. Him.

Now... can anyone imagine what kind of wonderful, exhilarating game it is for a just-turned three-year old to have someone chase them? Let alone, chase them around a big, brightly lit stage while lots and lots of children and adults are watching? Well, my little angel didn't let me down. He ran circles around both adults, giggling uncontrollably. When he was finally scooped up and carried off-stage, I bolted out of my seat, muttering about... well, it is probably best if I don't incriminate myself on the www-net.

When I found him, he already had an "I'm going to burst into tears any moment" look on his face. Due to someone telling him about how naughty he was? I'll never know since at that moment, I really didn't care.

Finley, on the other hand, has decided earlier that a dark hallway was the most terrifying thing that she had ever seen, and was already in tears, screaming at the top of her lungs while I was carrying her down the hallway going to find Rowen. I grabbed his hand and drug lead them both quickly outside where I had to plop Finley on the ground and fish Rowen's shoes out of my bag so he could make it to the car.

Needless to say -- I'll spare the details of the rest of the afternoon -- but it included a lot of crying, a bit of sharp words, some rational talk, some direction to go play quietly by yourself in the living room, a firm decision to NOT attend either nights of the actual dance recitals, a quiet dinner, a sleepless night and ended with a decision at some ungodly hour in the morning, to let Rowen go his recitals.

This video didn't catch the end, since I was high-tailing it backstage to gathering him up. You can use your imagination... I also can't you tell where exactly Rowen is in the line-up... well... because he never actually stood in line. You can often see him tangled up in the curtain, laying on the ground, and you can catch glimpses of him almost off-camera most of the time as he is running around in circles from one end of the stage to the other. He isn't the one in the yellow shirt, nor is he the littlest boy on the stage... he's just the crazy one doing his own thing while there is a dance recital going on around him.

In all fairness, I do realize that after watching the video later, that perhaps it wasn't as bad as I felt like it was in the heat of the moment (although it didn't include the very end -- ). Greg made a good point that it looked like there was quite a bit of complete pandemonium happening... and not just from Rowen.

The day did have a high point, however. Earlier, before what I now refer lovingly to as the disaster, we visited Addie and Nolan's house for a early morning sandbox party with their other friend, Sadie. Rowen and Finley LOVED it... I can't wait until we can get a sandbox!

UP NEXT: The Recital.

Stay tuned. Will it get any better?

farewell Delilah. you're a good girl.

Sometimes the ridiculousness of life can be just too much to handle. Sometimes it seems like a cruel joke. It has been a couple of weeks already, but I am just getting the strength to, yet again, post before I feel comfortable about getting on with my daily blog life... Sorry for the picture-heavy post... The pictures have to take the place of any words that I could possibly come up with.

Delilah Wilson

April 1, 1997 - April 24, 2009

May you be surrounded by miles and miles of water and piles and piles of tennis balls. May your shoulders and hips be as strong as they were ten years ago. Keep Bertha under your watchful eye and enjoy the constant ear scratches and belly rubs that you so rightfully deserve. We miss you terribly and will never forget your place in our family.

and now you are one.

Miss Finley,

It is hard to believe that this was you one year ago.

You were so tiny! Your entrance into this world was such a blessing!

Finley Irene

April 11, 2008

3:22 am

7 pounds, 6 ounces

21 inches

I often wonder why the first year of your life went by so quickly -- when I was so determined to slow down, enjoy the moment and watch you grow. I wonder how twelve months have passed already and now you are walking and climbing and letting nothing stand in your way. I wonder how I could have possibly thought that you had a loud, piercing cry as an infant, when it is nothing (and I mean, nothing) compared to the current toddler "how can you be so mean, you're ripping my heart out" wail when you don't get your way. I wonder how my heart has found the room for all of the squishy love that I have for you, even when it is so completely filled by your big brother.

I wonder who you will be when you are in school? What will you like? Who will you admire? I wonder what will capture your interest? What will you struggle with? Where will we clash? What will make us come together?

Finley, at one year old, you...

:: are walking, and have been for over a month.

:: love your baby and bunny and actually snuggle with them while getting to sleep.

:: still nurse four times a day.

:: still pinch the heck out of me while you are nursing -- but you are getting much better.

:: love all foods, including bread and cheese.

:: are showing signs of eczema on your cheeks.

:: love to dance and bop to any music that you hear.

:: weigh 22 pounds!

:: are in your forward-facing car seat -- and love most every minute of it!

:: are 27 inches long... I think...

:: have lots of curly brown hair.

:: don't have a specific part to your hair, and often times it fall straight down into a little peak to your nose.

:: have begun wearing little pigtails because you pull your barrettes out.

:: like to pull out your pigtails, too.

:: get very angry when you think someone has something that you don't have.

:: like Rowen's juice cup much better than your own.

:: love small Hot Wheel cars better than most any baby toy in the house.

:: have very good fine motor skills.

:: love to kick and throw balls (something Rowen didn't do for a LONG TIME!)

:: are extremely gentle to the kitties.

:: loved your doggies, Bertha and Delilah.

:: say mama, dada, hello, bye bye, uh oh, no, ball, and Bubba (which is currently a stand-in for Bertha, Delilah and Rowen).

:: you love to nod your head when answering a "yes" question.

:: are learning how to climb onto the couch by using the toy boxes.

:: are going to be awfully sad when the toy boxes are moved far, far away from the couch.

:: want to follow the big kids wherever they may be and do whatever they are doing.

:: scream and throw a fit when you cannot follow them.

:: enjoy walk in the Chariot, but have a nasty habit of pinching and poking Rowen.

:: don't listen when Rowen tells you to "Stop pinching, Finley!"

:: get very angry when you notice that Rowen has something that you don't have (did I mention this already?).

:: put up a very big girl fight to get what you think you rightfully deserve.

:: have often won pulling and screaming matches against Rowen.

:: go to bed around 8:00pm.

:: sleep almost completely soundly through the night.

:: still sleep in our bedroom.

:: wake up anywhere from 6:00am - 7:15am.

:: are going to give Nolan a run for his money when you both get a little older.

:: have a mommy who jokes that in a roundabout way, Nolan will actually deserve it as a payback for all of the grief that Addie gave Rowen.

:: look fabulous in all colors.

:: have a closet full of pink and purple and green.

:: love looking at pictures of you on our camera and pointing to yourself.

:: are already proving to be very aware of your surroundings.

:: are a clever, clever little girl... perhaps to clever...

Happy first birthday, Finley. I love you so very much. Thank you for all of the joy you have given to our family already.

~mommy.

::

hee hee.

Who would have guessed?

The simplest way to avoid the Swine Flu...

Don't do this:

To all distant relatives that may or may not find themselves shaking their heads in disgust or jumping on the telephone to call up one of my closer relatives to complain : : this is not my child, nor do I know this child. However, having made it this far in his little life, while up against SARS, killer bees, avain flu, Y2K and the like, I bet he's one tough cookie!

more exposure.

Today I was featured in a personal Etsy Treasury, which is a collection of favorites from a fellow Estian, right...

... here.

sleeping babies.

Photos of our sleeping babies are precious as they don't get taken very often. I happened to catch Finley at a good, sound sleep today during her morning nap.

How wonderful is this?!

It's amazing that this little bundle turned one year old last weekend!

a kimono for finley.

I have so many photos to sort through from last weekend's birthday party, y'all are just going to have to hold tight and wait a little bit longer. But don't worry... I'll get to it sooner than later. I might back-date... I might not... you will just have to look for them...

Until then, I decided to just quickly post a few pictures of a kimono-styled shirt that made for Finley during yesterday's nap time. For someone that isn't too hip to sewing clothing, it came together quite easily and sewed up rather quickly. I was pretty pleased with the fit and the overall look, even though Greg was sure that it looked more like a nurse's scrub than a kimono top... oh well...

She wore it today, even with the surprising foot of snow that was waiting for us this morning.

The next one that I make will probably have binding all along the sides and the bottom. I also think that I will use snaps to replace the inside tie...

I do love the short sleeves!

The next one will probably go up in the shop. Speaking of the shop, I have been slowly adding new items as I get the extra time on the computer. There are some new magnets...

A couple more Crayon Travel Art Portfolios and more in the works... Interested in other colors? Let me know, I have lots of fabulous options right now!



A few security-size and larger blankets... I also have many options for these! I have some lovely flannel just waiting patiently for my time.

And... my personal favorite right now... my Bias Blossom brooches and pin backs. These are just wonderful and I can't stop making them!

This last one is not up yet, but it will be soon... even sooner if you can't live without it!

happy birthday, rowen!

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday, dear Rowen...

Happy birthday to you!

Rowen,

at three years old today, you...

:: still love to watch Max and Ruby and Wow, Wow, Wubbzy!

:: are less adventurous in eating, but will try most anything if we ask.

:: no longer gag as easily on foods that you don't like.

:: are fascinated with construction vehicles (thanks, daddy!).

:: love to drive the backhoe and fork lift with daddy.

:: can ride your tricycle with ease.

:: go down the big, big slides at the park with little to no hesitation.

:: weigh a whopping 27 pounds.

:: have learned to ice skate really, really well... for a toddler.

:: are completely potty trained... even at night.

:: would rather eat peas and avocados than cheese.

:: are getting ready for your first big dance recital.

:: are taking a real soccer class with daddy (mommy and Finley get to stay home!)

:: take a real gymnastics class (no mommies!)

:: miss Bertha.

:: love to tell us that you love us.

:: are very cuddly... much more so than last year...

:: are beginning to have enough attention span to watch a cartoon movie.

:: enjoy movie nights with mommy and daddy.

:: love popcorn.

:: love power tools and hammers and nails and screwdrivers and chainsaws...

:: still like the colors pink and purple.

:: are becoming more and more aware of action heroes and other "big boy toys."

:: use scissors remarkably well.

:: amaze us each day by saying things such as... "bed begins with B... monkey begins with M... Finley begins with F..."

:: can count to thirteen before throwing in some made-up numbers.

:: can recite the alphabet, but never feel the need to say the letter "L".

:: love your grandparents!

:: don't like talking on the phone so much.

:: are beginning to write your name.

:: love your sister, Finley.

:: are a wonderful big brother.

:: get a bit emotional when Finley touches your things.

:: totally understand the concept of "trading" with Finley.

:: use the phrase "______ isn't my best friend." (where the heck did that come from?)

:: are so totally wonderful and amazing, there isn't enough time for me to list all of your accomplishments... plus, I'm really tired and still have a party to get ready for...

I love you so much, Rowen...

Happy third birthday!

guess who?

Know who this is?

Yep... it's ROWEN! No longer the shaggy-headed boy that so often gets the comment, "Oh my God.. she is SO CUTE!"

While in Denver for an unexpected two weeks, we decided to go ahead and get Rowen a real haircut. I am so happy with it, but still miss those shaggy locks. He looks so much older... but so much like all the other little boys.

Earlier in the day, we visited the zoo. I am so thankful that he got his hair chopped off AFTERWARDS... otherwise I would have never been able to recognize him in the crowds!

The zoo was terrific... the last time we went was while we were in Denver waiting... and waiting... and waiting for Finley to be born!

And of course... what day wouldn't be complete in Denver without the visit to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner?

we're famous. well... not really, but the shop was mentioned on another blog...

One of my bags from the shop has been purchased as a contest prize from Chocolate On My Cranium!

I feel so worldly.

bye bertha.

Bertha's Grateful Brandy

March 17, 1998 - March 18, 2009

I've been struggling with this entry here, knowing that I need to do something before I can continue merrily along with more posts. I need to acknowledge it here, but can't find the strength to delve into it in depth.

My throat still catches when I think of her, although when I'm busy chasing the kiddos around throughout the day, I realize that I am smiling and I did hear myself laugh. I can say her name now without my voice cracking. I can glance at her pictures up on the wall without breaking down and having to try and quickly get a hold of myself.

I don't think -- no -- I KNOW that there is no way to put my feelings down here... at least for right now. It was all that I could do to scroll through old pictures of her, trying to find some to post here. So many in boxes... before going digital... so many that will stay in those boxes until I gather some more strength. But those long-ago pictures? What... eleven years ago? What a little fur ball! Her entire body no bigger then than her head at full-grown!

So, I leave this at that... that catch in the back of my throat has pushed it's way up much faster than I thought it would and I don't have the strength or energy to force it back down.

Bye, Bertha. I miss you. I'm sorry.

a pinafore for finley.

Last night I finished sewing up this pinafore smock for Finley. I have been wanting to make something along these lines for while, and sketched up a quick pattern to try out. I will admit that I ran into a couple of snags along the way, but think I ironed them out for next time. This particular pattern is nice as a top -- either with or without another shirt under it -- depending on the weather. I think that I will alter this pattern a bit to make some that are more like an actual dress... This one isn't reversible, but I am planning to make sure that the rest of them are.

I am thinking of offering some of these up in the shop since I am sure that y'all are just dying to get your hands on them...

Right? Am I right?

Now I am off to finishing piecing a new patchwork sundress together.